dream job

I've been doing this for a month now , i remember what i used to think when i started , how it is similar but less bitter than what i think now , things did not change , you can not change the cube but the cube can change you ,

the goal of schools and universities is to mold you into this template where your employer can fill the variables he needs so you can do things the way he wants them , we all remember how at school if any one came dressed in a different way or tried to make his hair look different the school principals main job was to get you back to look like everyone else , on tests when you answer differently you lose grades , the closer you are to the "standard" the more praise you will get ,

at work everyone dresses the same , i can't tell the difference between a thousand jd suit and the one am wearing , maybe i don't care enough to tell the difference , or maybe my brain's self defence mechanism does that because i can't afford it , since your the new guy at the office everyone is already molded well , you start notcing how you can not even communicate with people , you talk but they don't understand , which is really strange , i haven't been able to finish a whole sentence in this month , i was always cut off by the strangest of sentences , sentences i could not understand but everyone else did

everyone is complaining that the working hours are long ,they all wish if they can be just one hour short , i just don't understand why isn't anyone complaining about how meaningless are our lives ? but to be fair i am expecting too much from people who are proud of copying and pasting , heck that day i felt proud because i colored a couple of cells with different colors , maybe the meaning of life can be found in Excel , i am sure that is my purpose and god will let me into heaven to help him SUM and Lookup the population ,

people actually won't help you , people will make drown even more , some are actually happy that you becoming like them , nothing , and they won't even let you recover from what is going on , they'll just start saying things to you to make you feel like your guilty of feeling this way , and everyone makes more demands now since you are working at your "dream job" , but what is good about my new job is that i no longer care , i started telling people to fuck off when i need to , and i should do it more often actualy , humans are glorified apes , i love apes even more

its 5:15 on a thursday , its okay to feel drained , its okay to feel like you don't want to live , at sunday things will be the same , i will come feed the cube some more , 'till the cube is full and nothing remains

I don't know what i wrote , i won't read it again am sure i'll delete it if i do , i'll let it to remind what did i think at this moment in time , i'll let it here to remind that someday i wanted something different , i just didn't know what it is back then .