This is it

* I want you to do me a favor, I want you to lay back and rest, close your eyes, listen to what i want to say and forget that anything exists, including me,

* At this point, in the eternal darkness of your shut eyelids, is there anything? don't think of this question or of a philosophical meaning to it, just tell me what do you see? remember nothing exists, even we, we're still not here, not a single atom of us, we're still a thought in the great mind of God, we're part of the blood in his veins that is running through his brain. before we were even created, before we surprised him. not even carrying oxygen, we still serve no purpose. Does this make you feel liberated? We can just exist and be next to, far from and mix with each other all at the same time, does it make you feel happy?  I know it feels weird, to use the word "happy", i think it would be better to describe it as that it is just beyond emotions, we're in a place where happy should be too ashamed to exist, its magnificent! its beautiful! it is essence! it is the warmth of the sun!

* This forces the question, why did we descend and will we ever return, I have no answers nor beliefs to explain that question, all I know is one thing, i'm just tired of this current form, where i'm forced to act against my nature everyday, forced to not say, think or feel the way I believe is right, coming to reality took from me way more than it gave me. The end result is chaotic, eccentric and just plain ridiculous.

* This is just me signing off, I came here because i thought i had a lot to say to the world, i had a lot to say to you, but in fact, this is just me signing off, throwing the towel, and just giving up, the world has disappointed me and i disappointed the world even more, Its a shame, such a real shame, i wanted nice things, for you, for me, i shouldn't keep my head in the sky anymore, I am up there, i can see the reality, it is really dim, it is really sad, I want you to be happy, I want everyone to be, This is it, This is just me.

Thank you, really.  Thank you all and Good Night.

The Eternal City Looks Pretty Dead to Me

* Swallow your existence as a pill, because chewing on it will only make you feel the bitterest of tastes, it was never meant to be contemplated upon, and never meant to be enjoyed, your happiness was just the brief moments of insanity and intoxication, fueled by your hallucinations you used to love calling your ambitions and dreams, and you are way beyond that, way beyond being able to fool yourself of such things, way beyond fooling others and way beyond being fooled by others, you are a joke, a jester that used to laugh at and be entertained by his own act, you are done, the ghosts of  your former wishes are begging you to put them down to rest, but your pride, cowardliness and idiocy are standing in your way, do it already and let us all just fucking rest.

To the Moon

* On the morning that I'll be lying on my deathbed, there'll be song birds to greet that morning, like every other morning, whether that pleases me or not it cannot be changed, I just wish I won't be alone on that day, I have no idea why, I just do.

* What would it mean by then? I don't know, its like when you look at an old friend's photo, a friend that you haven't seen for a long time, and you know that they are just not out there anymore, there's no point in calling them or seeing them, they are not there, neither are you, one way or another, a friend once told me that in seven years basically all of your cells would have changed, that means if you don't see a person for that amount of years then basically all of the parts that you used to see or touch have already died, maybe that's not how it works, but its sad when you look at it, at the amount of grief we have to go through, its not only that we will die several times during our life span, but we'll watch everyone else die several times as well.

* But what I would really like to remember on that day is that I made it, at certain moments in my life and other people's lives, I was there, hopefully enough years would have passed for me to be able to alter things and change them, maybe at least in my memories, maybe convince myself that we got through, we got what we wanted, one way or another, what ever memories i'll need to create to fill the gaps i'll create, what ever the means are to do it, i would've figured them out by then, if I have enough time, maybe then i'll be able to accept that there are birds singing this morning, and I guess by the time comes I'll just close my eyes, take a deep breath in, and maybe while i'm at it i'll smile as well.

" He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you "

Fuck the World

* Fuck the world. Fuck life, living and existence itself. Fuck the so called good, evil and plain dull people. Fuck the old, the young, the living, the dying and the dead. Fuck the achievers, the losers, the quitters and the determined. Fuck the humble, the arrogant and the hypocrites, especially the hypocrites. Fuck the believers, the atheists, the skeptics and the agnostics. Fuck social media. Fuck the weak, the strong, the healthy and the sick. Fuck rainbows, waterfalls, oceans and forests. Fuck self help books, therapists, horoscopes, Oprah and the united states, in fact, fuck all nations, all civilizations and their people. Fuck mainstream music. Fuck careers,ambitions, passion and dreams. Fuck dictatorships, democracies, revolutions, wars and peace. Fuck philosophy, poets and philosophers, the worst fucking leeching hypocrites humanity had known, and while am there fuck humanity as well. Fuck the insects, the animals, the planets and all plantation. Fuck corporates, banks and SMEs. Fuck monetary policy, central banks, the world bank, the IMF and the UN. Fuck winter, summer, autumn and fucking spring. Fuck jet fuel prices, indexes, virtual economies and nitrogen based fertilizers. Fuck inconsistency, logic, mattresses and bed covers. Fuck reading, talking, hearing and writing. Fuck the world, everything that's in it, and everything that ever was.

Golden Heart

And every time I'm thinking of you from a distant shore,
And all the time I sleep,
I will have a reminder that my baby wore,
A part of you to keep,
And I'll send you all my promises across the sea,
And while we are apart,
I will carry the wonder that you gave to me,
I'll wear your golden heart,
I'll wear your golden heart.

* To rob a man of his life is murder, but to rob him of his death is pure cruelty.